In 6 days... His day will come...
Him, being of course, me! No no no, I know what you're thinking - I'm not the unholy spawn of satan. It is true, however, that my birthday is in 6 days. I don't know why some people are always dredding birthdays. It's your day - do what you want! Walk down the street stealing candy from babies, throwing innocent puppies into the grills of oncoming traffic. Tell your bookie you'll give him the 20,000 dollars you owe him, but instead give him a briefcase full of your dirty laundry with a note attached saying 'you're my bitch now!' And if anybody tries to give you guff, just say, 'Hey. Listen. It's my b-day.' And don't forget to actually say the seldom used phrase "b"-day. Trust me, you'll look twice as cool that way.
Hmm... that'd make an excellent birthday card. I've thought about going into the birthday card writing business. It honestly doesn't seem that difficult. I mean seriously, after years of searching at least 3 times a year (mother, father, sister), I've definitely seen some shitty cards. You know the ones I mean. Those cards with a picture of baby next to a mildly spilt trash can, sitting and looking sad with a banana peel on its head. Then, when you open it up, the card says, "Don't get down in the dumps, it's your birthday!" I would feel better giving someone a piece of construction paper covered in gold stars, pissed on it, and wrote "Remember that guy Greg? Yeah, he was such a better friend than you."
I've been thinking about next Monday over the past few days. It'll be weird to be 20, you know, not a teenager anymore(thank god for that). But from what most of my friends tell me, after the day is done, you just end up feeling really disappointed. Oh 20, the cocktease of birthdays.
Final thought: my motto applied in real life - The Da Vinci Code. Lots of hype, horrible showing at box office. The lesson? Low expectations = a better future.